Because Aj (aka Ag) is awesome, I wrote her the story she deserves:
There once was a girl called little miss Ag,
She had the prettiest collection of marvellous bags,
With such a big brain she ruled over others,
She had them weeping and calling their mothers.
One day she met a guy, a fine man, a prince
His name so regal, it just had to be Vince,
He was ever so pretty and oh! so strong and toned
With boootiful eyes, white teeth and big boned
As perfect a man as ever there could be
The most wonderful specimen of age 23,
But all was not as it seemed with him
Vince was soppy, lame and went out on a limb
Ag made whipped cream of that dripping man
And then hit up the garden for a better shade tan.
For what our young Ag desired most was a manly man with an iron fist
One whose wrist she could match and pull and yet, completely twist.
Day after day the same sort of men came
But alas, they were all rather silly and tame.
She’d never pick such a bunch of silly sillies,
Running about all lovey dovey and willy nilly.
After much hiffing, huffing, sighing and sulking
She found her match all rugged and hulking.
He was an ordinary boy minding his own
When she walked past and hit him with her bedazzled cell phone.
When he turned around to meet his match
He, instead, found rather a stunning blonde catch.
He gasped and grasped about, stammered and stuttered
Indeed his mind was completely clouded and Ag a-cluttered.
Finally growing a pair
He thought it only fair
To ask her for tea
And hoped she’d agree.
Ag was surprised, as surprised as can be
“Of course”, she said, “yes!” and hopped like a flea.
He’d offered her favourites: biscuits, fruits, delights and treats,
And she was ravenous from wandering about manless on the streets.
Tea was just grand and indeed such fun
But alas she was late for a date and had to run.
She had men back home to turn away up and down
As she said this he started to blink and think and frown.
“Oh Ag, Oh Ag, I don’t mean to gag
But every other lady has been such a hag,
And you you’re, oh so SO so pretty,
So delightful, ever so clever and oh so witty”.
“Indeed life lately has been rather a drag,
So date me I beg you, please, else I’ll nag?”
And so Ag decided she could agree to these terms
So long as he didn’t expect her to get any perms.
They dated and dated and dated and dated
Finally the young lad’s patience abated.
He asked for her hand
The gesture was grand.
To everyone’s surprise our little Ag said yes
We were all so happy, it was just such a bless.
And so they lived all happy and silly and in love,
All ‘cuz Ag got to wear the relationship pimp glove.
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