A nose by any other name...

"But I belong in the sky", said the nose to the grindstone.

Never wake a sleeping Devlin

For my favourite human, who loves his sleep.

Never wake a sleeping Devlin.

He’s the kind of beasty who loves to sleep in.

No matter what time,

Day or night,

If you wake him up….

Get ready to fight.

He’ll pounce when you’re not looking,

And poke your little nose,

Then settle back down from whence he rose.

If you’re brave enough to try, even just once more,

Prepare yourself for an all-out war.

He’ll hit you with sheets,

Pajamas, pillows and feets, 

Then settle back to bed,

Ready to rest his weary, sleepy head.

Blank de blank

This page has eyes – they stare, impatiently.

Hungry.

It may have a mouth, it might not. I am

unsure.

The empty spaces reach to me.

Curling at the corners.

Desperate to peel

                                                away.

I press on.

The keyboard sounds twice as loud.

Thudding like a clumsy child.

Immature.

Not ready for the - BIG STUFF –

Where to begin?

“Simply at the end my friend.”

Rising rage and a hot water hug

After a dizzy night of sleep, bright eyes, sleep and subsequent bleary eyes I shrugged my layers off and headed for the shower.

It was there that my investigative instincts took hold of me. 

It was there that I was met with one rude factoid. 

It was there that a series of unpleasant events were set in motion.

"Rats."

My sister had been at my bathroom supplies like a rat family readying for winter. Gone. She had a way with other people's stuff. And by 'a way' I mean, it was her way: poof, away with anything you loved. These things went straight to a new home, with no way of protest and no way of knowing how long they'd be held captive for. The stuff of cotton's nightmares.

After 2 weeks without her thieving ways, I had almost gotten used to leaving items laying around. I had almost started living a carefree life - one where I didn't feel like a double agent. A life where I didn't have to worry about her scavanging fingers, lurking, creeping - ready to grab at will and with uncharacteristic speed. I had even let the passageway draft slink through into my room, door ajar all willy-nilly. My room hadn't smelt that fresh in years.

Like a bad dose of reality it came crashing down, flooding my body. White hot rage.

I let the warm water wrap around my body, tracing my curves, bringing me comfort, until I practically glowed. Hot water wasn't all they said it was. It was better. My anger had been steamed, pressed and ironed and was ready for someone else to don. It had packed it's bags and moved to the twilight zone. My feelings were neither land mine nor white dove, they were the sand of no mans land. And that dear friend, is why showers are neccessary. Morning, noon and night.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ― A.A. Milne

Céad slán, Gráím thú

Crush your ears should your thoughts set sail,

Squeeze your eyes should they crumble and fall.

Clench your teeth should reality escape,

Clamp your lips should attention be drawn.

Hold your tongue lest it turn to stone,

Rake your hair lest you drift away.  

Clutch your sides lest you call retired hands,

Cradle your chest lest your heart pursue.

Roam the glittering sky,

Watch the moon drip into the sea -

Rolling on the day, in silent agony.

Something blue old or new.

Dear reader,

The ocean breeze has stolen something close to me.
She carried it away and peppered the tides.
Leaving tiny pieces of me sprinkled in all the little seabeds.

“The only love that I really believe in is a mother’s love for her children.” - Karl Lagerfeld

I wrote this for my mum because she was really down.

Dearest mumsy,

You’ve been down in the dumps of late

So I wanted to do something that would negate

The inky sadness on your pretty face,

And get you back to your happy place!

Below is a list of things you do,

That help people, like me, to not come unglued.

See, you’ve helped all these humans that you’ve met

But you hardly ever have time to dote on yourself. And yet,

You do all these things without a second blink

So please, pretty please, take one second to think,

How:

1.       Your smile lights up an entire room, you must be part sunshine to clean away all that gloom.

2.       Your cheer and good nature are by far the best I’ve seen. You’re humble and hilarious and fun (and definitely not mean)

3.       You look pretty good for a fossil in motion, even though I'm sure you’re probably older than the ocean!

4.       You have so, so many friends, all over the planet, you kind of remind me of a really well rounded pomegranate.

5.       Nobody I know has ever had the heart to speak ill of you, and even if they had, every single human would say it were untrue.

6.       You have a family who hang on to your every word, whether it be sober, muffled or (as it is often) slurred!

So please, dear mumsy, please do me this one favour,

Please desist with this silly, woeful behavior!

And look at this list when you feel like a mountain of crap,

And remember how awesome you are, even when you snap.

“Sane is boring.” - R.A. Salvatore

In an attempt to write more, here is something that I whipped up during a chat with Barrel. The ending will follow soon.

The lesser boring Barry

Every morning was the same. Barry woke up at exactly 5:59am; a second before his alarm clock whistled, just as the sun was peeking out from behind the morning mist. Breakfast was a well rounded ten minute affair of precisely squared apple cubes and artfully lathered toast. Showering took another ten minutes as its mistress, until finally, he was fully clothed in the crispest cotton seen to man. To top it all off, was a big finish that consisted of a swift but vigorous shoe shine and then off he went on his way, primly clutching a slim briefcase, only to stop at the corner café for a cup of piping hot java; ready to take on the day.

But this morning was different.

Barry awoke, with a start, to the most unpleasant ringing sound he’d ever encountered. The sun was still playing hide and seek with the moon and his alarm was a long, long way off. Something was off. No, in fact, something was very wrong. This was just not how things were done in his house. Ill at ease, Barry laid his sensible head back down on his ever so slightly creased feather pillow and closed his eyes. Unfortunately for Barry, his body was now in full morning mode and his limbs refused to rest.

From then on his day got much, much, much worse.

- Breakfast was a no go.

- The dishwasher had inexplicably stopped halfway through its wash and Barry was left helpless without any cutlery and plate-less.

- The toaster, perched on the wrong digit, spat out a charred remnant of what had originally been his last slice of whole wheat rye.

- The geyser was in woeful need of repair and so an icy cold shower was the order of the day.

- Meanwhile his ears were still ringing from the hideous disturbance that had woken him up not so long ago.

- In a hopeless sleep deprived daze, Barry had also notably singed his favourite collared shirt.

But the straw that broke that camel’s back wasn’t the mouse hole he discovered during his rigorous yet thorough flossing regimen, it was the scrape his new loafers incurred during a tad-too-vigorous brush with the polish. Finally, at his wit’s end, Barry stripped his singed cotton off, unfolded his flannel two piece and balefully tucked himself back into bed for a sick day. Only to be unceremoniously wrenched from a blissful slumber by the same unpleasant ringing that had signaled the demise of his day.

“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” - Stephen Wright

The idea thief

He stalks in the night,
Inky black foot prints,
Carving his own path,
Full of treachery and betrayal.

He is you. And me and she and her and him and they and we.

"He's so emo, he's dead" - Hallie Haller

EMOTEP CHARACTER SKETCH

Emotep is an emo zombie character that my friend and I came up with. Thought I'd have a bit of fun with it.

- Has many skeletons in his closet. Literally.

- Pessimist and cynic

- Not the talkative type.

- Has a speech impediment: When nervous will repeat the word “brains” over and over

- Completely straight edge

- Orphan

- Occasionally practices voodoo

- Athiest

- Has the personality of sand

- Huge fan of Plants versus Zombies but has never cleared level 1                                                                            

- Has a tendency to fall apart in rough times.

- Has never had a girlfriend

- Very private individual

- Has a habit of chasing those who get too close to him away. Literally.

- Only friend is Bill Murray                                                      

- Insomniac

- Favourite movie is Hannibal

- Actually see’s dead people

- Prone to intermittent surges of white rage

- Refers to all music as “too mainstream”

- Actually has a death wish

 - Obsessive compulsive with hair care

- Rampant hooligan while skateboarding.

- More socially awkward than Kristen Stewart            

- Addicted to milk

- Was previously a drummer in some band but had to retire due to severe arthritis.

- Has a chip on his shoulder because of the above.

"Quiet people have the loudest minds" - Stephen Hawking

There’s a universe in my head and it’s struggling to stay hidden.

From time to time it slumbers but never for more than an hour.

Constantly tugging on my hair like a petulant child, it tails me around like an invisible stray thread.

It is exhausting.

Meanwhile, the world around me is in complete chaos;

engulfed in the fires it ignites, slowly, surely, burning all who tread its worn rubble.

And yet, the universe inside my head, with its ever prickly presence, is the one that carries the weight of something real.

Something comforting.

Something true.

Its silence draws me in deeper, a siren call I reach to under water.

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” - Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn

To be a cupcake would be sweet,

To constantly be such a treat,

Everyone wanting a piece of you

You, all colourful, fresh and new.

Oh but to look that good for a day

I'd be a cupcake if I had my way.

But just for one day,

They don’t keep well.
Just for a day would be quite swell.

“There is a time for departure, even when there is no certain place to go.” - Tennessee William

More bad internet poetry.

Blue

You're those flecks of yellow that brought colour to my canvas.
You've stained my perception of reality.
To wash you away would be a shame...
So I'll paint around your firefly splashes.
And remember you brought light to the dark.
And remember you made it come alive,
With freckled sunshine highlights in contrast to the periwinkle hue.

"We're all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars" Oscar Wilde

It's odd that I haven’t contributed to the interweb litter in a while. I guess I’ve been too busy working and having fun to scribble down silly things. This is still a work in progress, and at the very beginning stages of that progress.

THE LIGHT HOUSE

Once upon a time in a dark world lit only by proud stars, two people fell in love, the prince of summer and a daughter of spring. They were married and together, ruled the entire world. They lived on top of the highest mountain, in a beautiful lighthouse, bringing light to the world. See they were so in love that the light inside of them shone out into the darkness of the world and made the world a better place. Every night they went to sleep their light did not shine; it glowed warmly in the dark, an orb of hope and light providing safety for people to rest their weary heads. 

Together they were unstoppable, they did everything for the people. They helped the world to grow. The night sky was pleased by this and considered their world the shinning cherry to her galaxy of tiny lights. For the darker she was, the brighter they glowed.

Because they were the oldest people alive it became blindingly obvious that they were also the wisest people alive. Many troubled people came to ask the king and Queen for help and each day, thousands of them climbed the never-ending winding staircase to their beautiful lighthouse in search of their guidance. But. 


After a while the people became spoilt and used to the king and queen’s kindness. The wonder of their world's iridescent landscapes and forever summer began to dim. They took for granted what the King and Queen gave up daily to ensure they had a permanent beaming sky and happy hearts. One by one, the people began to be-smudge the beautiful world the King and Queen had illuminated out of love.

And on one particular, things took a turn for the worse.

A rich scientist, Mister Winter, visited the stain glass lighthouse in search of love akin to that of the king and queen. 

When Winter bowed before the pair and relayed his request, the king and queen looked at him sadly and shook their heads. “We can’t make love, we can only make light. We can show you the way but we can’t take you to the end of that journey.”

But these were not the words that Winter had wanted to hear. The words echoed in his mind as his face filled with stark white rage.

In a fit of silent rage, Winter was gone from the lighthouse before the King and Queen could shine some light onto the issue at hand. They did all they could to locate him but alas, Winter had come and gone, leaving nothing but an icy fear in their hearts. 

For the next year Winter became a man obsessed.

How dare they refuse his plight, it was unheard of. He'd had the kind of life where he'd never gone wanting... Until now. It was a sore point and the dark thoughts it poured into his mind infected everything. Suddenly the sight of the rising light at dawn was a gruesome reminder of what the King and Queen had. Of what he did not, but should, have.

He fumed about town and thought, “If I can’t have warm, sunny light in my chest then nobody will have it.” And with that frosty statement ice filled his veins. His heart grew so cold that it froze. Grasping his hatred with a firmer grip than gravity he let himself tumble blindly into the depths of his rage, and began to formulate a plan of the most malicious revenge.

While Winter's heart withered by the day, the King and Queen could feel a distinct chill in the air. And it gripped their hearts with fear but not even their inner disquiet could prepare them for what was next.

Winter’s plan was simple and even easier to execute than he had ever imagined. His idea was to bring ice to the people’s hearts and it did not fail him like the King and Queen had. 

He found that people were selfish and easy to manipulate. Malice ran thick through the streets like a river of impenetrable hatred. But the King and Queen only shone their incandescent light ever more brightly and managed to warm the frosty glaze their people had voluntarily placed between them. 


This did not deter the rich scientist, oh no, it motivated him tenfold. He vowed to destroy the king and queen’s love and break the spell of light on the world for good. Little did he know what this would do to his world.

And so...


After months of tireless planning he snuck into the glass lighthouse balcony while the queen was asleep. The king was nowhere to be found and so the rich scientist went ahead with his evil plan. He placed his icy fingers on the queen’s forehead and began to freeze her mind. Unfortunately for Winter, the king happened in upon this from downstairs and he was forced to run off having only just begun to complete his task. 


With a sharp pang in his chest, the king bent to check on his beloved, only to find her catatonic and peaceful. Thinking nothing of it he surrendered to slumber.

The morning after the sleepy King leaned over to wake his wife. And only then did he fully begin to realised what had really occurred the night before.

The light inside of the queen was still there but it was trapped for the most part and for all he tried, the king couldn’t shine his into her mind. In fact, the problem was not that her mind was frozen but the mixture of such extreme light and ice was causing a great fog in her mind and she had forgotten everything she knew, even him. To this obstacle the King threw obstinate positivity. He was determined to track down his Queen’s attacker and fix the problem.

But optimism did little for the King and there was nothing to be found, save for despair in his heart. Years and years passed and the king began to lose hope. Without his love by his side the light inside of him began to fade and turn in. Little by little the world began to get darker and darker, until it was pitch black and void of any brightness. The king was just another smudge on the earth, shuffling about in dejected silence. The people of the world began to fear for their future as none of their food would grow and many began to die from the bone chilling cold.

The freckled night sky, seeing this became upset and jealous. It was her job to provide eternal bespeckled darkness and this new fangled pitch-black object was a great problem in her mind; a pimple in her peppered perfection. She thrived on the fear that she induced in people’s minds but this dark sphere where there used to be light was leeching all of the fear that she so rightly deserved. Having never done anything like this before, as it was not her nature, the night sky was hesitant but decided to visit the king. When she found him he was grey and withered from years of hopelessness and despite all of her coaxing the king was lost and she could do nothing.

As the night sky was about to turn her back on the king, a brave little star, the brightest star in the night sky, offered himself up in place of the king’s withered broken heart. His courage brought a flicker of light to the king’s and gave him the heart to carry on with his age-begotten quest. The star stayed by the queen to protect her and what little light he had, he shone as far and wide as he could for the people. With this light came new hope.

Having learned who the secret attacker was, from the brave little star that had watched over their world in wonder at such light and love, the King travelled to winter’s home to settle the score.

Meanwhile at the glass lighthouse, the star’s courage and light burned through the clouds in the queen’s mind and she awoke from her catatonic state for the first time in years. She called for her king only to find him gone, and when she had heard the tale of what had happened she went in search of him.

At winter’s house, the king and the rich scientist battled. They were equally matched and it drained their power, leaving them at a fruitless impasse. When the queen flowed into the room she found both men furiously clinging to life and attempting death upon the other. With her King by her side she was able to shine light and hope into him and gave him the strength to resist winter’s advances. The rich scientist, realising that he had lost slumped in defeat at their feet, begging for mercy.

The little star, seeing such pain was filled with sorrow and pity for the rich scientist. He took winter up and hugged him, glowing all the while. Winter, entranced by such a beautiful white light lost his bitterness completely and gaped in awe. He asked to stay with the little star forever, exploring the night sky, seeing fantastical things, always enrapt. And so they floated on up into the welcoming arms of the night sky, leaving the bewildered king and queen to pick up the world winter had ruined near beyond repair.

After a mere few months of winter’s disappearance, the king and queen had finally restored their world to its initial rich hubbub of joy and warmth. The people were grateful to them, realizing how foolish they had been, and began to visit the lighthouse on the mountain every day. But the king and queen knew in their hearts that the people would become spoiled again and would not risk another winter in their midst. They decided to shine as little as possible for three months of the year, in homage to the years they had lost with one another to winter. And to protect the other from anyone’s harmful hatred they turned to the night sky and requested a place in her freckled depths, next to one another. They shone so brightly that they could not become any old ordinary stars, and so the night sky decided to turned them into the sun and the moon, eternally dancing around the world, providing light in the darkest places.